CONFESSION NUMBER : 3

I have never understood one thing about love relationships- why do they all begin with a sense of euphoria, excitment wherein we are excited and encouraging about each and every imagined and real quality that the other person has and then somewhere down the line the very things that attracted us to the other person would all look the most irritating and frustrating set of qualities one could ever have..? why ? why do we always end up destroying the things that we were extremely fond of at some point..why ?

Each man kills the thing he loves, by each let this be heard. some do it with a bitter look, some with a flattering word. the coward does it with a kiss, the brave man with a sword.

Another thing that i always wonder about is-why do we want to believe or hope even for a second that if we have found somebody who is funny, intelligent, interesting in short -fantastic company and amazing human being that they should be or must be our original discovery..I mean there could be tens and thousands times they could have been discovered and liked and loved much before you showed up in their life and why should it bother you, at all ?

well unfortunately since i am not such a super human being it does bother me and bothers me a lot at times..i want to focus just on the present and be content that this person is with me now..but i just can't take my mind off the simple fact that this person was once somebody else's apple of the eye and that my special someone was fond of,crazy about, and adored somebody else and what makes it worse is that they are still friends with them..

In a perfect world, none of these things would have bothered me but since we all wrestle with our imperfections on a daily basis these are the insecurities that i do kick boxing sessions with once every week and these feelings of insecurities attack me without prior warning and i feel trapped and helpless and i end up hating myself for making my own life hell and dragging down the other person with me.